It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
