Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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