I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
