How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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