i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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