I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
