did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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