Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
