A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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