I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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