we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
