too bad you live with your parents still
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
