Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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