I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
