dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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