he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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