I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
