they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
