Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
