I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
