3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
