i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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