Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
