He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
