i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
