I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
