he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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