youre lurking in front of me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
