i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
