i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
They have beer where we have blood.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
