I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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