South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
