where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
