Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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