I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize