We won't sleep together?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
