I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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