I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
