She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize