The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
