i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
