you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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