the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
