he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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