Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
