I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
