The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
