apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
