my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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