I think I died a long time ago.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mom said you looked used
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
