she looked like the before picture.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
