And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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