how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
