He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My penis needs a shock collar
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize