TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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