I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize